I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
