so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
