So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I think I died a long time ago.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
