I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
