break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The maid of honor just puked.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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