So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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