Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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