I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
