I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
