So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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