so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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