my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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