So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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