I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm like, not good at living.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
