i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
