can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
