I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
