wrigley field is MILF paradise
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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