Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
