I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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