Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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