Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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