is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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