You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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