If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
