My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
