I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
