You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
