miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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