were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
