I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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