Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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