I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
