You can't motorboat a personality
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
