she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
