the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
These tits shall not be calmed
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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