I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
