She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
