I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
