Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
