just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
How does one acquire holy water?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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