did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
