No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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