ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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