You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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