So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
