you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
