just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Shame - the story of my life.
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