I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
