i just had sex bonerless
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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