I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
